Should I or Should I NOT?

Okay, so after a couple of years of wanting to begin this whole blogging thing...I am doing it! I have given myself some time to contemplate whether or not becoming a blogger is something I "should" do. Perhaps you're wondering, "So, what's the big deal?" To which I'd quickly reply, "Nothing....really." But in the deep discerning part of me, I have asked many questions of myself trying to determine the real reasons I or anyone else would be motivated to write things about themselves, their thoughts, their beliefs in such a transparent way. I have wondered if it is some kind of pride thing? Is it the notoriety or some sort of statement saying "HERE I AM - I MATTER? Would it be a waste of time, not fitting into the non-negotiable priorities of my life? Does anyone really care what I personally have to say about anything or will I be another resounding verbose soul writing into the internet abyss? Do I want to make some kind of difference or am I seeking some cathartic therapy that perhaps would best be kept to the pages of my own private journal? The list of thoughts goes on...so do the questions. But in the midst of all the questions, I believe I may have found part of the answer...

So, here, within this blog, I desire to briefly establish and state my purpose for myself and anyone who might happen upon my utterings. I believe it can be summed up quite succinctly. My purpose in this arena is to address concerns of the day, week or year, as well as any thoughts or questions I may be pondering at any given time and to then sift them through the most amazing truths ever produced in the history of man - THE WORD OF GOD. I guess I figure if I can evaluate and analyze my own, sometimes, twisted thoughts and emotions through a vehicle like a blog, I will open myself up to an opportunity for publicly observed growth. And perhaps, just maybe, something I say will resonate with someone else. Perhaps, someone may not feel so alone. And maybe in such a way, I can bring someone along with me on the journey to a better understanding of who we are and who we were created to be in Christ. Perhaps, it may just be me, talking to myself, but dialogue would be quite refreshing, challenging and welcomed! So feel free to join me in this journey. Click on Follow Me to the right and become a new partner in the journey.... I look forward to our mutual sharing and growth!

What Are You Saying "No" To?

I am sure no one would argue that our Savior calls us to a life of excellence. Yet, how do we live a life of excellence with a myriad of demands on us? How do we prioritize the “right” things to do over the “good” things to do? As Believers, we have a higher responsibility to do what is right – what we are called to be and do - over what is good. We daily face a world whose priorities oppose ours, and thus, we are constantly challenged in our decision making process. If we do not choose what is right over what is good, we may bypass the higher road. We may end up offering lives that are mediocre in everything and excellent in nothing.

Regardless of whether we are teens, singles, or married, our priorities directly reflect the values we hold most dear. For this reason we must be steadfast and remain focused. Focus is the key to excellence in anything, and particularly, in what we have been called to do. Satan effectively employs distraction to divert our attention from our chief priorities. When we say “yes” to too many things, we end up, quite honestly, stressed and ineffective. To often we overlook the fact that saying “no” is crucial to our growth and success. Think of it like a muscle. When there is tension and pressure on a muscle, it grows stronger also adding strength to the bone it surrounds. However, if never stretched, it becomes flabby, loose, and prone to injury. Likewise, as we are stretched by truly making God-honoring decisions for excellence, we grow to discern God’s leading and prompting while gaining a deeper dependency on His wisdom, His strength, and His direction. Ultimately, learning to say no can break the yoke of over-commitment, weakness, and mediocrity. Saying no can free us to devote the right amount of time and attention to God’s priorities in our life.

Sometimes God plants a seed in our heart for what He will later equip us to accomplish. As we remain focused on what He has called us to in the here and now, we can be assured that in the interim, He is preparing us for some future work. Saying no now to good ideas, good opportunities, and good experiences may feel like we are saying never, but no may simply mean not right now. For certainly when God plants a seed, he has already determined the perfect time, the perfect soil, the perfect environment altogether in which the seed will sprout and grow. So as Galatians 6:9 encourages us, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Seasons

I have always LOVED the change of seasons.  I love seeing the cycle of life through the change of seasons. I love to see God’s incredible creation through what sprouts, grows and dies, only to be reborn in the Spring.  I guess you could say I love CHANGE…period.  I know. I know.  To some, change or even a remote possibility of change, sounds absolutely frightening but not to me. Perhaps it's because over time I have learned to view change as just part of the amazing and unfolding adventure of a closer walk with God, a time to more intimately get to know my Creator. No matter what the seasons bring with them, there are always abundant and exciting opportunities to watch God work in us, to experience His perfect orchestration of events, and to allow Him to mature us as only He can through all our "seasonal" circumstances.

I have spent many seasons of my life anticipating what the next season would bring. As a kid, I couldn’t wait to drive. As a teen, I couldn’t wait to go away to college. In college, I couldn’t wait to see what career path I would take. In my twenties, I couldn’t wait to meet my future husband. Once I got married, I couldn’t wait to start a family. Once a parent, I couldn’t wait to complete the potty training stage. BUT, seasons of life can be a funny thing. Well, maybe, funny – not so much…

First, I was dying to finish high school and start college
And then, I was dying to finish college and start working
And then, I was dying to marry and have children
And then, I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could get back to my career
And then, I was dying to retire
And now, I am dying…
And suddenly, realize that I  forgot to live.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN

In think many of us seem to spend so much time waiting for the next season to arrive, we often miss the season we are in and fail to experience the full potential of the here and now. Sometimes we want something so much, we fail to cherish the things we already have-the people we already have. Too often, we look back to find we have mishandled certain moments in our lives, and realize, however unfortunate, those moments cannot be relived nor our steps retraced.

I witnessed some of this first hand. For years, I saw my father dream of using his musical gifts to minister to others. For years, I heard him say, “When you kids are independent, I will…” Then, I heard, “When your mother gets better, I will…” But, she didn't. He then said, "When I retire, I will." And finally, “When I get better, I will…”  Sadly, he didn’t get better either. But, that’s another story for another time and blog.  The point here being is that all those years of waiting…waiting…waiting...for the next season and what did the next season bring? It simply brought the unexpected, the unwelcomed and uninvited, and ultimately, the end.  

This summer our Pastor took us through the somewhat sobering but definitely inspiring book of Ecclesiastes. It's not the easiest book to absorb but the conclusion is clear: Man's (and woman's) chief end is to fear God and to keep His commands (Eccl. 12:13).  If this is so, and IT IS, then whatever season we find ourselves in, whatever we choose to pursue, and however we choose to spend our time, we should always remember we are given but so many days to fear God and keep His commands. Each one is a gift. We have been allotted only so much time to become who God created us to be and do what we were meant to do. Having lost my parents prematurely (or at least that is how it can often feel), I daily live with a reminder of how fleeting our days are and how short life can seem. If we spent more time reflecting on how relatively few days we have on this planet, would we choose to live any differently? Would our lives reveal the same list of priorities?

Sometimes, though, it’s down right difficult to maintain a balanced perspective. Sometimes we all fall into the “Wishing-Away Well,” not necessarily on purpose, but often out of frustration, exhaustion, or a latent discontent that rears its occasionally ugly head. How crucial it is at such times to sit back and reassess what our perspective is and what perpetuates it. Selfishness? Disappointment? Fatigue? Unrealized dreams? Impatience? Fears? Any one of which is a contender. But, any one of which is worthless when seeking God's perspective on the matter, whatever the matter.

Over the years, I have often found myself either over-committed, under-energized, overly anxious, etc. Often, this has meant additional stress, topped off with a confused sense of perspective, purpose and direction. Most likely, it has been a result of not remembering who I am and Whose I am, and instead, trying to be who others think I ought to be and who the world tells me I want to be. BUT, there is something I have found IMMENSELY helpful! As long as I remember my priorities  - God 1st, Family 2nd , and Ministry/Others 3rd, with any other commitments placed thereafter, I have been able to say YES or NO to activities based on whether they have supported my firmly established and non-negotiable list of priorities. In case you're wondering, yes, it is much easier said than done!

Our present culture continues to push “more is better” in every respect. But is it? Really? Today, I heard an interesting factoid. It peeked my interest simply because of the size of our present temporary dwelling (approx. 750 sq. ft) and the fact that we are moving toward building a home. This news report stated that the "McMansion Era" is OVER in America! Wow! Apparently, keeping up with the Joneses is getting easier as a majority of people are downsizing, struggling to keep their jobs, and living in an uncertain economy. Perhaps, the Joneses themselves want to downsize! In the 1960's an average home was 1200 sq. ft.. In the 1980's it was 1700 sq. ft. In the 90's it bumped up to an average of 2000 sq. ft followed by another jump in 2000 to 2300 sq. ft.  It would appear that more is better UNTIL, of course, circumstances and the unknown scare enough people. I am so glad God is constant and remains unchanging. I am glad He isn't as fickle as our economy!

In the past year, I've often wondered if the pursuit of the American dream has affected our sense of what really matters, our list of priorities, and how we go about spending our time. It seems to me, in times of prosperity, Americans have lost sight of much, not the least of which is the purpose of life. It isn't about being happy. Yes, I said, it isn't about being happy or comfortable. Shocking to some yet true. It's not even about achieving the American dream. For the sake of repetition, our purpose is to fear God and keep His commands, thereby bringing Him glory.

Please DON'T hear me saying you can't do both and still have a large home, comforts, the American dream, etc. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. Please DO hear me saying it's not our purpose in life to fulfill our own desires at the expense of fearing and obeying God. Our priorities should be supported by well thought out choices along the way. We may misjudge at times or fall into the temptation of pursuing purely selfish desires. In the end, however, what has been our life's pursuit overall? That is the question we ought to continually ask ourselves. It's just all a matter of perspective, isn't it? So, is the "more" we think is better, still really better? I guess it depends on what the "more" is and how we define it.

In striving to keep my own priorities in line, I have battled with guilt, sometimes a false sense of guilt, that at times has overwhelmed me.  Do I want too big of a house or would I be content with less? How much less? What is enough? Am I being a good mom if I DON’T sign my kids up for multiple activities? Am I somehow preventing the social development of my kids by preferring they spend more time with family than friends? Am I wrong to prefer spending time with my family when given a choice, a limited schedule, and limited expendable energy? 

Over the years, I am sure a number of other thoughts have plagued me and caused me considerable confusion, making me question my choices as a Christian woman, wife and mother. However, the bottom line is this…I'm either living to honor God in all I do as effectively as I can with the resources He has provided...or I'm not.  I'm either being a good steward of the limited time I have been given... or I'm not. I would like to think I ALWAYS make the right choices and that my choices have ALWAYS supported my life’s most important priorities, but I can’t. Why? Simply, because they haven’t.  Fortunately, I live for a God who sees my miscalculations even my deliberately selfish choices and loves me still, continuing to offer me opportunities to improve my approach to daily living. The more I seek Him, His Word, and His will, the closer I come to aligning my choices with His priorities for my life. I won’t always succeed, but I'll always be making progress so long as my perspective remains identical to His.

Dedicated to my precious babies who are now all in school and…no longer babies! Weaning and letting you go is so bittersweet but necessary. May God grant me the ability to do so gracefully and faithfully as I enter this new season of life! I LOVE YOU WITH MY LIFE!